Archive for May, 2005

For the Birds, part tres
May 27, 2005

  • American Idol haters…are for the birds.
  • Having halitosis and not knowing what halitosis is…is for the birds.
  • Thong sandels on guys…are for the birds.
  • Struggling to be Christ-like around a bunch of christians while playing ball…is for the birds.
  • Reading Scripture to make it fit your framework and what you have always been taught…is for the birds.
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For the Birds, part dos
May 23, 2005

  • Not having recess in high school…is for the birds
  • Hillary 2008…is for the birds
  • Waiting outside of the theatre for more than twenty minutes to see…no wait…paying any amount of money to see Star Wars…is for the birds.
  • Your pursuit of orthodoxy constantly trumpping your pursuit of orthopraxy…is for the birds.

A Shrine for all Jordanites
May 21, 2005

Every thing you ever wanted to know about His Airness…the greatest basketball player the world has ever seen.
Name: Michael Jeffrey Jordan
Position: G
Born: February 17, 1963
Height: 6’6
Weight: 216
College: University of North Carolina
Seasons Played: 15 (13 for Chicago, 2 for Washington)
Numbers Worn: 23 (majority of career) 45 (briefly after first return) 9 (Olympics)
Career Highlights

* Five-time NBA Most Valuable Player (1987-88, 1990-91, 1991-92, 1995-96, 1997-98)
* Ten-time All-NBA First Team selection (1986-87 to 1992-93, 1995-96 to 1997-98)
* Selected in 1996 as one of the “50 Greatest Players in NBA History”
* A member of six Chicago Bulls NBA championship teams (1990-91, 1991-92, 1992-93, 1995-96, 1996-97 and 1997-98)
* Six-time NBA Finals Most Valuable Player
* The 1987-88 NBA Defensive Player of the Year and record nine-time NBA All-Defensive First Team selection (1987-88 to 1992-93, 1995-96 to 1997-98)
* Entering 2002-03, ranked first in NBA history in scoring average (31.0 ppg), second in steals (2,391), fourth in points (30,652) and in field-goals made (11,513), fifth in free-throws made (7,061), sixth in field-goals attempted (23,010) and eighth in free-throws attempted (8,448)
Closed the 1997-98 season as the Bulls’ all-time franchise leader in points, rebounds (5,836), assists (5,012), steals, games (930), field-goals made and attempted and free-throws made and attempted (8,115)
* Holds the NBA record for most seasons leading the league in scoring (10)
* Shares the NBA record with Wilt Chamberlain for most consecutive seasons leading the league in scoring (seven, 1986-87 to 1992-93)
* Holds the NBA record for most consecutive games scoring in double-digits (842)
* Holds the NBA record for most seasons leading the league in field-goals made (10) and attempted (10)
* Led the NBA in steals in 1987-88 (3.16 spg), 1989-90 (2.77 spg) and 1992-93 (2.83 spg)
* Holds the NBA single-game records for most free-throws made in one half (20 against the Miami Heat on 12/30/92) and most most free-throws attempted in one half (23 in the same game)
* Shares the NBA single-game records for most free-throws made in one quarter (14 against the Utah Jazz on 11/15/89 and against the Miami Heat on 12/30/92) and most free-throws attempted in one quarter (23 against the Miami Heat on 12/30/92)
* Holds the NBA Finals record for highest single-series scoring average (41.0 ppg in 1993)
* Entering the 2002-03 season, ranks as the all-time NBA Finals leader in three-pointers made (42), second in three-point attempts (114), third in points (1,176), fourth in steals (62), fifth in field-goals made (438), sixth in assists (209) and free-throws made (258), seventh in field-goals attempted (911) and eighth in free-throws attempted (320)
* Holds the NBA Playoffs record for highest career scoring average (33.4 ppg)
* Established an NBA Playoffs record with 63 points against the Boston Celtics on 5/20/86
* Entering the 2002-03 season ranks as the all-time NBA Playoffs leader in field-goals attempted (4,497), free-throws made (1,463) and attempted (1,766), second in steals (376) and field-goals made (2,188), fifth in assists (1,022), seventh in three-point attempts (446) and ninth in three-pointers made (148)
* Recorded two playoff career triple-doubles, both against the New York Knicks (5/9/89 and 6/2/93)
* Participated in 13 NBA All-Star Games (1985, 1987-1993, 1996-98, 2002-03), starting 13 times, and missed another due to injury
* Named the MVP of the 1988, 1996 and 1998 NBA All-Star Games
* All-time NBA All-Star Game leader in steals (35) and ranks second in field-goal attempts (206), third in points (242), fourth in scoring average (20.2 ppg), and eighth in assists (52)
* Notched the first triple-double in All-Star Game history, with 14 points, 11 rebounds and 11 assists, in the 1997 NBA All-Star Game in Cleveland
* Won the Slam Dunk Contest in 1987 and 1988, also participating in 1985

Career Averages and Totals

Points: 30.1 : 32,292

Blocks: .83 : 893

Steals: 2.35 : 2,514

Assists: 5.3 : 5,633

Minutes: 38.3 : 41,011 (a little more than 4 solids weeks)

Career Highs

Points: 69 @ Clevland 3/28/90

Field goals made: 27 vs. Orlando 1/16/93

3’s made: 7 vs. Golden State 1/18/90

Free throws made: 26 vs. New Jersey 2/26/87

Free throws attemted: 27 vs. New Jersey 2/26/87

Assists: 17 @ Portland 3/24/89

Steals: 10 vs. New Jersey 1/29/88

Blocks: 6 @ Seattle 12/02/86

Minutes: 56 vs. Utah 2/03/92

For the Birds, part uno
May 21, 2005

This series of entries is for the purpose of exposing what is truly bad, awful, mean, cold-blooded, raw, devastating, ridiculous, heretical, preposterous, and just down right no-good in this world of ours. You may be able to relate to some, you may disagree with all. Stay tuned and let me know how you feel. I’m out.

Baptism Resolved
May 21, 2005

Growing up as a southern Baptist, I have heard every belly ache regarding the theology of the Christian demoniation on the issue of baptism. This is my attempt to end the on-going conflict (success is not likely seeing that two people read SmittyCity…and that includes myself). Anyway, when the world realizes the nuggets of gold that are waiting to be found in my blog they will all adhere to the doctrine of SmittyCity (some scholars have described my work as more like chicken nuggets). Seriously…Christians and Baptists have battled over whether baptism is salvific for a long time. I really believe that there is a way to reconcile the two theologies so that both sides are happy.

Despite the beliefs that baptism is and is not essential to the salvation of man, Christians and Baptists would both concur that Scripture is clear when it describes baptism as both a public profession of faith and an act of obedience to Jesus. These two things are undebatable…if you hold scripture as infallible. So with these issues in mind we have already found something that we can agree on in relation to baptism. But here’s where it gets funky. When you give your life to Christ, the first act of obedience is to be baptized (…repent and be baptized…). My thought is this: What possible reason could there be for not being baptized as Christ has instructed? There is absolutely no reason in the vast universe that can justify not being baptized at some point after conversion. Fear of water is bogus because fear is not of God; Parents not consenting is lame because God is your ultimate authority…the list goes on. The point is that any excuse for not getting baptized is nothing short of sinful. So according to Scripture, Baptism naturally comes after salvation. The Bible says they go hand in hand (and no, ” hand in hand” is not synonomous with ” essential“). So really, not being baptised is not an option if you truly want to be obedience to the God who just saved you from His wrath. This leads me to my next point. If you choose not to be baptized, for whatever reason, then I feel that your salvation should be called into question. Chill out, and let me explain. Baptism is commanded by the Big Dawg, so to ignore this and elect the opposite is outright, premeditated, unashamed disobedience. Not just normal disobedience, but failing to accomplish the first thing Jesus wanted us to do to show the world of our desicion. I have never run into anyone who feels this way, but if they did…I would wonder if there salvation experience was legitimate. Failing to be baptized is a perfect example of what James is talking about when he says that faith without works is dead. If baptism is willingly avoided, then I believe that it is a clear sign that your faith was never real in the first place. Deciding to put your faith in Christ EQUALS Loving God, which then EQUALS desiring to be obedient, which must then lead to- being obedient in baptism. So for all Christians and Baptists that give a crap: Can we please agree that baptism is a must; and then, can we please all agree that a “believer” who willfully refrains from this act of obedience is a victim of James’ dead faith warnings?

Can’t we all just get along…and for the record…I love Southland Christian Church. I’m out.

Farewell Reggie
May 20, 2005



Last night, Reggie Miller of the Indiana Pacers walked off the court for the last time. The Pistons sent the Pacers home after six games in the Eastern Conference quarter finals. I’ll be quite honest…I’m not a huge Reggie fan. But I must admit that it was rather emotional as Rick Carlisle called a time out so the crowd could properly acknowledge the NBA great’s last performance as he took a seat on the bench with only seconds remaining. If that didn’t make the NBA faithful a little misty…then Larry Brown calling his own time out right after so the praise would continue was bound to soften the heart of the grizzliest. Yes, Reggie Miller’s departure is truly sad for all who have even a little respect for sports, but what I have found to be the most depressing is something far greater that many probably haven’t realized. Reggie ended an era. He was the only remaining player of the Jordan-Bird-Magic-Malone-Isaiah-Wilkins-Barkley-Robinson-Stockton-Olajuwon-Ewing-Miller Era. With Reggie hanging it up after 18 very productive seasons with the same team, he wrote the conclusion to the NBA’s greatest chapter. This era defined sports…it epitomized the game of basketball. Basketball is what it is today because these committed, classy, and overwhelmingly talented men fought every day to be the best. I was blessed to have had these players set the example for me as a young athlete growing up…now days…well, I wish the young ones were that lucky. Watching Jordan fly, Bird shoot, and Magic pass was an experience that not all will have…I will cherish it. Do the game a favor: Don’t let the legends fade away…use them as the standard.
Farewell Reggie, thanks for being a part of the most phenomenal generation of basketball players the earth has ever seen. We will miss you all…I think I can hear Naismith rolling over in his grave. I’m out.

The Skinny on Juice
May 11, 2005

I am a devoted sports talk radio listener and have been for a lot of years (I am partial to Colin Cowherd on ESPN radio @ 10 a.m.). But I’m pretty sick and tired of hearing about Bonds, Giambi, Bonds, Sheffield, Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, and Barry Bonds. When I’m driving to pick up my new bread maker at William Sonom…uh…my new tool at Sears, I don’t want to have to hear about whose hat doesn’t fit because their head has inflated. My stance on this issue is twofold. Either you give every single player every single test there is…every single week, or you make every single steriod completely legal so all can reap the benefits fearlessly. There is no middle ground, however, if the baseball commission chooses the middle ground…then we will always waste a part of our day listening to baseball comentators wildly clubbing at Secretariat’s grave. BRASS TACKS: If a player…any player…denys using steriods yet refuses to take a drug test for whatever reason, he is guilty. There is no gray. Barry, you don’t want to take a drug test…okay…you’re using. Giambi, you will not pee in the cup because it violates your privacy as a player…no problem…you’re using too. Every polywog player who will not take a easy step to clear their name is juicing. Besides cheating the game, your fellow players, and the fans…having to enter a stall with a fellow behemoth that has his pants around his ankles is enough for me to stay clean. That’s just repulsive. And you know that the receiver has to bend over just a tad…but I digress. Everyone needs to hit up the mall for a Griffey jersey, because those hamstrings of his will be the first to tell you that he’s clean. I’m out.