Archive for October, 2005

My Brother the Genius
October 29, 2005

Solomon could take the ACT tomarrow and get a 18. I sure of it. Besides being the most beautiful child on the planet and having the personality of a well-established class clown, Booda would run circles around the smartest 4-yr olds. Keeping in mind that the buster is not even 2 yet, I want to share two incredibly smart things that he did this past week.

Booda’s a genius, part 1…

I took the kid out to my parents van to buckle him in so we could leave for the S.T.A.R. Women Magazine Awards Gala, which my mother did win (more on that in the Hero series…coming soon). Anyway, I had to call Mel to ask her something…and the Solomander was listening. While I was talking to her, he tapped me on my arm and said emphatically, “CA MÉ!” You must first know his names for the family: Moma, Dada, Sissy, Bu (for Bro.), and Mé (for Mel). Anyway, I never once said her name during the conversation, yet Budapest knew who it was and joyfully displayed his knowledge. What a kid.

Booda’s a genius, part 2…

My family and I regularly eat at Ruby Tuesday’s, which is behind Joseph Beth. We like to go there because we enjoy eating outside and Solomon loves to feed the ducks. Of course, we have to prevent him from jumping in with them…but all in all we have a marvelous time. His carseat in on the left side of the vehicle, and we were traveling north on Nicholasville Rd. As we past the Lexington Green Mall on our left, his eyes got real big and he started to loose his breath like he does everytime we go see the ducks. He started yelling at everyone in the van, “Mama…GUCKS…Dada…GUCKS…Sissy…GUCKS…Bu…GUCKS.” The boy couldn’t even see the water in the little lake from the road, but he knew that the “gucks” were close. What a kid.

I will continue to tell stories of the genius who is my brother…so stay tuned.

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Sweating Letterman
October 25, 2005

The top ten list of great sports names….

10. Goose Gossage (MLB)

9. Popey Jones (NBA)

8. Fat Lever (NBA)

7. Milton Bradley (MLB)

6. Pumpy Tudors (NFL)

5. Majestic Mapp (UVA b-ball)

4. Coco Crisp (MLB)

3. Ben Gay (NFL)

2. God Shamgod (Providence b-ball)

…and at #1, playing quarterback at the University of Tennessee…if the first two are injured…and if they can’t teach some other guy offense before their timeout ends…

Jim Bob Cooter

Matthew Henry wrote:
October 23, 2005

“Wherever the Providence of God casts us, we should desire and endeavor to be useful; and, when we cannot do the good we would, we must be ready to do the good we can. And he that is faithful in a little shall be entrusted with more.”

Obsurd News…
October 21, 2005

The following three news stories are completely true and completely ridiculous. I hope you find them amusing.

*scroll down to read about the Simpson’s going global

Al Shamshoon
October 21, 2005


The Simpsons are going to the middle east…well, sort of. The long running TV show will hit the middle eastern tube not as the lovable Simpsons…but as the Shamshoons. Many things have been altered with the show to appeal to the culture in this region. Homer will be Omar Shamshoon and the mischevious Bart will be renamed Badr. Duff’s beer, Homer’s drink of choice, will be completely cut along with all pork. Omar’s delicious donuts will be replaced with a popular cookie from that region. This is my only problem…what are they going to do with Apu from the convenient store? I personally demand that they make him white…call him Frank…and give him a southern accent. Stay tuned for “Al Shamshoon” coming to a middle eastern tv near you.

*scroll down to find out about the greatest Bird fan to ever live

I’ll Take 33 Please
October 21, 2005

A guy, whose name hasn’t yet been revealed, asked for a longer jail sentence in his hearing yesterday because of his obsessive love for Larry Bird. This is not a joke. Somewhere in this great nation of ours sits a man who could not have lived with himself if his prison sentence did not correspond with the number of his all-time favorite basketball player. He was sentenced to 30 years in jail for a crime that he committed, but he asked the judge if she would step it up three years so that he could be locked down with the same number that was on Bird’s jersey. “I’m the greatest Bird fan who ever lived…and I guess this proves it,” said the newly incarcerated man. What a meatball.

Should have been a Jordan fan

-scroll down to read about the Yankees and Satan’s number

# 666
October 21, 2005

An employee of Topps, the baseball card company, announced some very interesting news regarding the numbering system of the cards. He has worked for Topps for four years now and his responsibility has been to number each card in the set. Apparently, this gentleman is a major Yankee homer…and his undying love for the Bronx Bombers has been shown by the six hundred and sixty sixth card in each set. Each year this guy gives the satanic number of 666 to the pitcher that did the most to eliminate the Yankees from the previous post season. I kid you not. In 2002 it was an Asian pitcher (don’t know the name) from the Angels…in 2003 it was Josh Beckett of the Marlins…and last year Keith Foulke from the Red Sox was awarded the number 666. I wonder whether this dude will still have his job after this story gets back to the high ups.

Who will recieve the evil number in next year’s set?

….if he is honest, he better give it to Randy Johnson.

National Attention
October 18, 2005

The Logo
October 16, 2005

Much love to T.Whalen from Cin Sity
One of my best friends on the planet…ya’ll link him up…he’s got a lot of good stuff to say
traviswhalen.blogspot.com
(he comes across as a ruthless, coldblooded, Irish shylock……until you get to know him)

I call this …"The Concept Mistaken"
October 13, 2005

I call this …”The Concept Mistaken”