Archive for November, 2005

November 20, 2005



Stank Glory
November 11, 2005

This is the second post of the “Glory” series here at SmittyCity. I have this weird way of seeing God in the most obscure of places, but, nevertheless, we strike again.

Today, on the farm, I had the privilege of shoveling muck onto various patches of newly sowed grass seed. If you are not familiar with the term “muck,” let me introduce you to this fine combination of….well, crap. Simply, it is a brilliant mixture of straw, dead grass, and manure. And, you place a layer of muck onto the grass seed to keep moisture underneath so the grass will sprout sooner. It was a long eight hours today, so I began dwelling on manure….dung. Through my intense pondering, I came to this conclusion. God’s Glory is richly displayed by maure. Now, to those who did not just shut off their computer…let me explain. Think of how the Creator set up this wonderful world of His: Animals eat and then excrete…we commonly call this “waste”…but it is not wasted. Manure is an amazing fertilizer to almost everything. Grass, vegetables, flowers, and other crops all rely on animal maure to grow. The natural nutrients found in maure are like candy to crops (phosphorus, nitrogen, potash). God is amazing…to take a nasty, stank, fowl substance like crap and make it so beneficial for creation. We rarely think about stuff like this, which obviously means that He rarely gets credit for stuff like this.

God shows off his majestly all throughout creation….even in the stuff that we normally don’t give a ‘crap’ about.

Stop and realize creation.

I’m out.

The Jesus Career
November 8, 2005

I am embarking on a new journey, and I want you meatballs to be the first to hear the details. It’s called the Jesus Career…My Jesus Career. Here’s the scoop: I have decided to grow my hair to my shoulders. This new career of mine originally started because J.T. and Soup Bean dared me to grow it out for a year. I accepted. And for all those out there that would respond with something along the lines of…”Well, would you jump off a bridge if your friends dared you too?” My response to you is…yes, yes I would. In fact, I would jump in naked…but I digress. As my hair began to grow slowly, I realized that it was a great idea for me to continue with this mission because I cannot end my existence on this earth without knowing what I look like with a pony-tail. But now I have an even greater motivation. Jesus is my motivation. According to historians and theologians, Jesus would have been a dark brotha, with dark eyes, and long dark hair (probably nappy too). Smitty, coincidentally, is a dark brotha too…with dark eyes and dark hair.

Ephesians 5.1 instructs believers to imitate Christ as dearly beloved children. Honestly, I really struggle with this. It’s hard to sweat a dude that was perfect. So I figured that if I look more like Him, I will have an easier time acting like Him. And, oh yes, I will look just like Jesus. In fact, I will probably receive calls from churches all over the southeast asking me to play Jesus in their Easter plays. I will charge a small fee.

I want the blognation to see the progress I have made thus far. It is significant. The first picture was taken by my wife during our vacation in Destin the last week of July. The second was taken twently minutes ago. I will update the progress of my new career ever so often.


Post-Practice Cool Down
November 6, 2005

USC Coach Pushes Player Over the Edge
November 2, 2005

Pete Carroll of USC is the most brilliant coach in the game. If you don’t believe me…then realize this: his boys haven’t lost a game in nearly three years, they put up incredibly huge numbers, and have been deemed by many as the best team in college football history. But this post isn’t about football (so everybody other than Sok and Tapp can keep reading). Carroll is a genius, but apparently he is a prankster as well…and a mighty good one at that. He busted out a practical joke on his entire team that is worthy of mentioning on the best blog in the world (that like 2.5 people read). Here it is:

He staged a massive argument with his star running back, Lendale White, during a practice this week. Some very colorful words were thrown around that caused the entire team to stop what they were doing and observe. Lendale, Coach Carroll, and a couple of other coaches were the only ones in on the joke. After the fight between coach and player, Lendale stormed off the field and into the locker room. The next thing everyone knew, a dummy appearred on the roof of the athletic building right next to the practice field. The dummy was dressed exactly like Lendale had been, complete with pads and all. He then throws the dummy off the ledge and it comes crashing to the ground with every Trojan watching silently. Carroll told the media that many of the players were totally freaking out and that he quickly had the seize control of the situation. Some weren’t fooled at all, but many thought Lendale White had just ended his life right there in the middle of practice. Props to Carroll and Lendale…very funny.

A Tribute to Rosa
November 1, 2005

Well, today was the last day that Ms. Rosa Parks’ body was “on display” for the public in the capital city. She will be buried in Detroit later this week. There is much to learn from this women’s life…probably more from her Civil Rights work after the bus incident. Anyway, this post may seem like I am poking fun (which I guess I technically am), but, truly, I admire this lady and what she stood for and I mean no disrespect by the following.

My tribute to Rosa is a story of the first and last time I made a semi-racial comment with a microphone in my hand.

I was interning for Schotty (Scott Dishong…Porter’s old youth minister). He had been letting me “MC” the wednesday night student services…I would tell jokes, do announcements, and introduce new visitors. Anyway, one night I had one visitor card that Schotty wanted me to recognize. I’ll tell you what…I’ll quote what I said from stage that night…it will probably make a little more sense that way. I said, “We have on visitor here tonight that we want to recognize (I look down at the card). Her name is…ROSA…I can’t pronounce her last name, but it starts with a ‘p.’ (There was a brief pause and you could see a faint smile on my face) I quickly and confidently exclaimed, “SHE IS PROBABLY SITTING IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM TONIGHT.” Well, long story short, Schotty banned me from the mic for about two weeks…he was honestly upset. And I received one laugh for my joke…and you wouldn’t believe who it was. After it left my lips I heard a loud, high-pitched, girlish giggle coming from the back of the room. It was none other than: Jason Jackson…the only brotha in the room. He loved it…and I’m glad he did, because no one else caught it. So, thank you Jason…and thank you Rosa.