Poor Trees


Before I record my meditations on the financial situation of trees, I must clear the air with reference to my cheese selection. Contrary to popular belief, I love all cheeses equally. I love the sharp zest of cheddar. I love the smokey goodness of gouda. I even enjoy the deformed pungency of Swiss. It has been said that I blantantly elevate provolone to king of the cheeses. Though mildly tempting, this accusation is blantantly false. Each cheese possesses qualities that are equally pleasing to my spirit. Ahhh, the power of cheese.


Because money does not grow on trees… they live in poverty. But what if Father Earth considers sunlight and rain to be a currency? What if He equates the excrement of the woodpecker with the profile of Alexander Hamilton? Then trees would no longer be poor.

I have a vision that one day the leaves of trees will replace greenbacks – What a delightful day for the tree community! Humans would envy their financial situations. Actually…now that I think about it…they would envy trees so much so that they would attempt to strip all the currency from their limbs. Sucess for the greedy humans would be enivitable because even the might oak cannot defend itself. And posing nude or eternity, the trees would once again slip into poverty.


Poor, poor trees.           


5 Responses

  1. i don’t get it.

  2. currency already grows on trees.
    humans breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide.
    trees do just the opposite.
    this gas is a currency I cant live without.

  3. true, true.

  4. Wiley-

    Don’t worry…you’re not missing much

  5. thanks smitty. this is one of those thinking man’s posts. i’m not much of a thinker. maybe one day… i’m okay with it though. until then i’ll just stay in my plain, easy, boring world.

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